Category Archives: Soccer

On Arsenal: One of the most hilarious sports articles I’ve read in a while…

This blog post is in response to Arsenal’s sale of defensive midfielder (DM) Alex Song to Barcelona. A lot of fans are discussing whether or not an adequate DM can be found, but Gunners4limpar is a bit confused:

Life was simple, back in the day. School was dull; parents were annoying; the Prodigy were ace; a can of “cola” from KwikSave was 18p; Kelly from across the road was fit; and football teams played 4-4-2.

If you had anything remotely like a functioning left foot, you played left wing. If you were the fat kid, you played at full back. If you had what is known in England as “technique” (a quality not necessarily required to play football) then you’d most likely be in centre midfield.

Your position basically demarked whether you were defensive, attacking, or one of those oddballs who wants to be both so spends the whole time chasing up and down the pitch like a deranged pet dog chasing a bouncing ball.

But then, somewhere along the line, everything changed. Paul Scholes is now a “distributor”, at least when he’s not maiming an opponent. What the hell is a distributor? Is that a “water-carrier”? Is this defensive or attacking? Do they run up and down? If not, why not? What caused the financial crisis? What’s a fixed income derivative operation? What the fuck is Libor? Is Kelly actually that fit or was I just a bit pissed last night? And who or what is Tulisa?

Hilarious! Read the rest at Gunners4limpar.